I had a perfectly great day today. I rented books from the library, all of which I've come to love especially Fish In a Tree, one of my favorite anime of all time is confirmed to have a 5th season in the fall, I finally managed to eat some chocolate chip cookies, I'm making plans to go to Tekko on my own this year, and my dad got to spend his day off happily. Everything was going great!
But then it got ruined all because of moi. My crime? Telling dad that the showerhead was broken.
I know he doesn't mean anything when he yells, gets mad, or curses at the top of his lungs. I get that. But my God, all my life I've always tried to be the good girl! I've always tried to follow the rules, be nice, and avoid making people mad! But it seems anytime I say or do something, even the most innocent thing seems to set SOMEBODY off, whether it's telling my dad about a freaking broken showerhead or not writing sensitive issues in the way certain annoying people want them to be written! Even when I do something nice, somebody gets mad and yells! I'm freaking sick of it!! Nothing I do ever makes anyone happy! This is why I don't ask my parents help for stuff or fix things when they're broken, because this is always how they react, every! Single! Freaking! Time!
I hate it!! I hate being autistic and I hate how it makes anything I say and do make people angry with me, even when I follow the rules or be nice to try to help or just let someone know what's going on! I swear, I must be cursed because nothing I do makes anyone happy no matter how hard I try!!! Just once, just once in my entire life, I wish something I did or said WOULDN'T make anyone explode or flip their lid!