Guess what I just found? My picture ID! My old one! It turns out, it was in my work pants pocket the whole time! How in the world did I never notice?!
Guess who totally didn't notice that their job interview was LAST WEEK instead of today?! Me, that's who! The biggest retard of the highest order to ever exist on this God forsaken planet! I'm even all dressed up and everything! God, how am I so stupid that I can't even check if the date of a freaking job interview is right?! Man, I've caused nothing but trouble for Mom and Dad and this lady who's working really hard to get me a job, and I've done and messed everything up! There goes my chance at getting a good job! Now what am I gonna do?!