joyousmenma93 (joyousmenma93) wrote,
joyousmenma93
joyousmenma93

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Goodbye Gemma + Mad at Mom

So...my mom dropped a bombshell. My sister apparently can't handle Gemma anymore, so she's giving her away to a friend. Now, originally, my sister and her boyfriend were going to raise Gemma together, and everything was alright. Then her boyfriend turned out to be a dick, got himself in trouble, and left her without doing a single thing for her. Unfortunately, my sister works hard during the day and most of that time Gemma is alone in the house. She doesn't want Gemma to live that kind of life, so she's made the hard choice to give Gemma away to a close friend of hers, who has plenty of dogs of her own, so Gemma can be happy, be cared for all the time, and have friends to play with. My mom told me about this just now, so in light of all that's happened, I don't blame Andrea for not being able to handle Gemma anymore. I mean, taking care of a puppy is hard. They require a lot of time and effort and commitment. Andrea works a ton of jobs that don't give her that kind of free time and feels bad that she can't be there for her dog, and her boyfriend certainly didn't help by doing all the crap that he did. Plus, at least Andrea's giving Gemma to a close friend, who's close by and whom she knows and trusts, so it's not like Gemma's going off to some stranger, and she can visit her when she can. That's some consolation. Andrea wants what's best for Gemma and doesn't want her spending her days locked in a crate all day. I can understand why she had to make this hard decision.

However, I still can't help but feel a lot of things. Andrea spent probably thousands of dollars for this dog, and then after five months, she just decides she can't take her anymore and gives her away. I know she's not doing it to be cruel, the opposite, actually, but...having a pet is a commitment. Pets are sentient beings. They're not toys you buy and then discard when you get bored with them. I haven't forgotten the time Andrea said she wanted to give Penny away several years ago because she couldn't handle her. Hey, puppies require a lot of work, but either you commit to it or you don't. I've seen people just discard their dogs for stupid reasons, like peeing on their XBox or because they weren't pure bred. I don't want Gemma to think my sister is abandoning her. It was bad enough watching my cat Reese be given away and still worrying about whether she's being treated well or not, because my mind constantly wants concrete answers for everything. I don't want vague, unsure answers from people who don't know anything. If you tell me Reese is being raised in a nice home, I want to visit that home and see for myself if that's true, not just believe it outright, but I know that's not possible because, 1. There's no such thing as private investigators who look for cats, and 2. I'm pretty sure if I did that, it'd be considered stalking. I'm conflicted about this because I care. I care about animals. I can't help but imagine how painful this must be for the animals, too, having a nice home and then suddenly being thrown into someplace they're not familiar with for what to them may be no reason. Animals are family and friends. They have feelings, too.

Unfortunately, I'm kinda mad at my mom right now because apparently she hates it when I get emotional about all of this--or anything at all, for that matter. She wants discussions to end but I want to continue them because I still feel there's a lot more that needs to be said and resolved. But she's not having any of it and wants me to get over it, thereby dismissing my feelings and anything else I had to say altogether. So, Mom, I'm sorry that my having feelings about the matter and actually caring is so freaking inconvenient to you! I know I'm the sentimental type, and I can't help but be emotional about this. What does she want me to do? Just take it in stride like some robot who doesn't react to anything? Does she not want me to express myself or feel empathy? I probably shouldn't say that. I know she doesn't. But I'm just so sick and tired of being told to just drop it or get over it or end of discussion! To me, being told to get over something is like being told that they either don't take me seriously at all or that any problems or feelings I have about anything don't matter. I absolutely hate that with every fiber of my being. I've told her this thousands of times and she still doesn't get it because she's not me. She's stubborn as a mule and always has been. I love her and all, but I can't stand her when she does that.

I've decided to type all this out here so I don't accidentally say something I'd regret to Mom in person. That's the last thing I want.

Oh, and there's an ambulance in front of my elderly neighbor's house. I hope Terry or Al are okay.

Today's been a crappy day overall.
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